14 May 2026
Supporting Our Boys: Insights from the IBSC Australasian Conference
At the recent International Boys’ Schools Coalition (IBSC) Australasian Regional Conference, held in Adelaide at St Peter’s College and Prince Alfred College, delegates were challenged and inspired by a powerful keynote from educator Tom Bennett. His presentation, “The Lost Boys,” used the familiar story of Peter Pan as a starting point to explore what it means to grow up as a boy today – and how adults can best support that journey.
Bennett encouraged educators to reflect more deeply on the inner lives of boys. Beneath the surface, boys are often navigating significant biological and emotional changes. As they grow, they wrestle, sometimes quietly, with fundamental questions of identity and purpose:
· Who am I?
· What is my meaning?
· Where am I going?
· How do I relate to other people?
While these questions may not always be voiced at home or at school, they play an important role in shaping behaviour, relationships and learning. Bennett’s message was clear: addressing these challenges requires more than structure and expectations, it requires connection, understanding and care.
A central theme of the keynote was the importance of making sure boys know they matter. Bennett urged adults to be explicit in communicating this message, reminding us of the power of simple, genuine words: “You matter. I care about you.”
He challenged us to consider how often we communicate this to our boys and sons, particularly in moments of correction or difficulty. Do they still feel valued, even when they are being held accountable?
Boys, he noted, frequently seek recognition. Beneath the surface, many are asking: “Is my effort noticed?” “Does anyone care?”
This resonates strongly in both school and home settings. Small moments of acknowledgement, encouragement and genuine interest can have a lasting impact. Noticing effort, checking in when something seems “off,” or simply asking how a day has been can reinforce a boy’s sense of belonging and worth.
Importantly, Bennett also reminded us that every community has boys who may feel unseen or disconnected, the “lost boys.” As parents and educators, we share a responsibility to ensure that no child feels invisible. A simple message, “I see you. You matter to me.”—can be profoundly significant.
These ideas strongly align with our School’s commitment to the dignity and wellbeing of every boy in our care. While our policies and programs provide a framework, it is the strength of relationships, at school and at home that truly brings this commitment to life.
The conference was both affirming and inspiring, and we look forward to sharing further insights with staff and the broader community. In the meantime, Bennett’s message offers a valuable invitation for all of us: to pause, to notice, and to remind our sons, regularly and sincerely, that they are seen, supported and deeply valued.
My hope at St Peter’s College is that we continue to work to ensure that every boy feels known, connected and far from “lost.”
David Nolan
Deputy Headmaster/Head of Senior School